It was the night that we will all remember forever, at least the ones of us who survived. The sudden and deafening blasting of a horn woke me up that night. I've been having an important dream, but no matter how hard I tried to remember it, I couldn't do so in the first minute, and by then, a terrifying fear took over my whole mind. I couldn't feel any other emotions, I couldn't think any other thoughts, so I had to stand up. I opened the curtains in my room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary for the first few seconds, it was just dark as usual at such an hour. I briefly took my eyes off the window and, all of a sudden, it looked like a daylight. Immediately, I could see the green leaves on the trees along my fence, my neighbor's garden full of beautiful yellow daffodils and white lilies, a red football lying on their recently mowed lawn. The sky was dark at the very top, and I could see that the light came from somewhere behind the horizon. That's when I realized what it was... I immediately ran to the other end of the room, lied down on my bed, covered myself with my thick blanket and closed my ears. In a second, the glass on my windows shattered, I felt a huge vibration and could feel the heat wave running over my blanket. If it were my skin, I'd end up with permanent burns.
What we all feared the most in the last few days finally happened. Germania finally attacked us. That means that we attacked them in retaliation. That means that the world ends today. In minutes, the fires will engulf major cities, and spread everywhere else in the matter of days. No crops, no forests, no food. It is now a race between radiation and starvation: which is going to kill us first? All is lost, my family, my friends, and nothing matters anymore.
I left my house. I'm seeing many people on the streets, some in their bathrobes, some are crying because of burns, some are shouting, some are screaming. I'm seeing panicking families rushing to take their carriages and horses to the road. I'm seeing people running away. In the midst of this commotion, a woman walks towards my direction. I know her, she used to be my mom's friend. She's always had this interesting vibe about her. She's always been into meditation and spirituality. And her facial expression always seemed like she knows something, but can't tell. I remember one day she came over to our house and asked to go for a walk with the two of us, a little bit mysteriously and out of the blue, but she's always been friendly so we did. During the walk, she pointed out our neighbor's lilies and said, "I love lilies. My mom called me Lilly because of this flower's beauty. But everything has to die to be reborn again," then she looked at me as though she knows something. That day, I ended up being late for my scheduled carriage, and my mom had to order a cab to my school. It turned out that scheduled carriage had an accident, and some kids got hurt.
Lilly walked up to me and said in a completely relaxed voice, a voice so relaxed and ordinary that it was extremely convincing, "Amanda, you've got nothing to worry about. This is not the first time the apocalypse happened. Come back home and read this on your bed." Without hesitation, she handed me a piece of paper. It was a page ripped out from some book and carefully preserved. I was baffled. But I couldn't disbelieve her. Not at this minute, and not her. I did as she said. The note read:
Behind you, a desert. Ahead, the boundless love.
Though scared of awesome presence, you raise your voice above.
"God, I have come from very far, and I am tired so.
I stand before you, brightest star, with thirst to only know
One simple answer, my omniscient seer,
O ever-dancing dancer, Why am I here?"
"You don't remember anymore", reply came from the light.
"How stood you here aeons before, repeating the same plight.
You were a loving mother and her precious child.
By a wooden crib, you stood as father and gently smiled.
You were a mighty tree that grew in rainy and in sunny.
You were a busy bee obsessed with making sweetest honey.
You were a mountain with a shiny peak.
You were a lily flower by a tiny creek.
You were the one you wanted with your entire heart.
And the one you'd rather keep far away apart.
In all your crimes, your only victim and your own judge.
Remorseful countless times, but others - wouldn't budge.
You walked quadrillion of miles, as homeless and from home,
Through suffering and trials, as formless and as form.
You are the book that tears its own pages.
You are the experience loved into life and lost to ages.
Now stood in front of love itself, the creator of abodes,
What would you do to learn yourself, the truth the world holds?"
"Anything," you replied, your voice echoing throughout.
"And so begins another stride, another journey on a thorny route.
Why are you here, you ask? Truth is seeking for its own answer.
Look deep behind your mask, and find the ever-dancing dancer.
Look in the seen to find the seen, and in the heard to find the heard.
Look for the balance, not extreme, for truth, and not a word."
Puzzled, I stood up. I didn't understand. But I wanted to keep it. I wanted to memorize it, and think about it. I wanted to think about it, over and over, over and over. I want to remember it, forever. I want to understand, why am I here? What was the point of it all? What does it all mean? Have I walked a quadrillion miles? Am I the same as everyone, and how? I'm going to die soon, like everybody else. But if I could take anything with me when I die, it would be this page, this piece of paper, and whatever is on it.
It was the night I'm going to remember for a while. I was born here, in Michigan, in the US. Name's Anthony. All my life I've been looking for an answer, for my own purpose. I've gone through a huge spiritual journey, at first by myself, then with my wife, Sirena.
I woke up in the middle of the night. There was a thunder outside, so I stood up, opened my curtains, and closed the window. It was beautiful outside, albeit dark and stormy. When the lightning flashed, for a brief moment, everything was illuminated, and I could see colors of things. Our lawn, green trees on the street, our neighbor's garden with white lilies. Sirena really loves lilies. I went to bed quietly so as to not wake her up. After falling asleep again, I'm having this dream... It felt like a lifetime, or maybe even more. It felt like a dejavu, like I lived this before, like I lived this many times before. I felt like a wanderer in this world, living, loving, hating, over and over, over and over, walking in the desert for thousands and thousands and thousands of miles, searching, forgetting what I was searching for, then searching again, and again. I felt in danger, I felt worried, I felt like something terrible is going to happen. I also felt like there's another chance. I felt like that chance was me. I felt like I should never lose courage and persistence. Sirena was so worried, she saw me convulse and scream in my sleep, she saw terrible pain on my face, then she saw a sigh of relief, then I woke up in tears. Something clicked, I remembered my dream as a general idea. I wrote down this idea as a scene between God and a human, going through eternal recurrence of life in pursuit of its purpose. I wrote down the poem, word by word as it appeared in my dream. I still don't know exactly what I've discovered, what it all means, but it felt like an important breakthrough to me, and to this world.
I realized what's most important for me in this world. I must focus on the world as it is, in this moment. I realized that I am here to help people. I want to work towards solving global problems. I want to be helping to protect this world, all of its people, nature and creatures, against big dangers we're all facing. We've got these weapons that can destroy us in the blink of an eye. Our climate is slowly dying, species massively go extinct. But I'm going to do anything I can to fight against these problems, and since I cannot do so alone, will you help? Otherwise, why are you here?